Now we are near the end of the month there are very few butterflies, dragonflies or bees around which is rather sad, but that is how it goes - all the more to look forward to again next year when the cycle of life starts all over again.
|A tatty Wall Brown on a Cosmos flower.|
I actually managed some 'proper' gardening, athough it took me about three weeks on and off to complete this bed - first we gave the yucca a serious haircut which allowed light and moisture in under it, then K dug out tons of plants that I didn't want which had self seeded here. I hand removed bucketfuls of creeping weeds like buttercup that had taken over during the summer, and removed dozens of bluebell and snowdrop bulbs. Then after adding lots of home made compost and leaf mould I started the fun job of planting.
I'd splashed out and bought a variety of different heucheras, and interspersed them with self seeded stipa grass, and the larger grass here is a divided up Hakonechloa macra 'Aureola' which had practically disappeared under a shrub elsewhere. I hope it gets a new lease of life here. I also split and replanted my one remaining heuchera - all the other ones I've planted over the years have disappeared - I think they didn't like the competition from the self seeded plants which shaded them out. Finally I replanted the snowdrop bulbs along with a mix of early flowering narcissus bulbs. After doing all that to such a tiny bed I realised I would probably not get to doing much more this year as it seemed a mammoth task for me, so my other much larger overgrown, weed infested shady bed around the corner may have to wait until spring. Or next autumn!
|New shady Heuchera bed.|
|One of my favourite plants with so much interest in the leaf colours and shapes.|
|Annual flowers in the veg patch are still looking like this at the end of the month!|
|I really did find this duck feather next to these pretty leaves.|
|But then I 'cheated' and put some acorns here.|
|Self seeded Verbena bonariensis in the veg patch, |
which was still attracting butterflies earlier in the month.
|And more self seeded annuals.|
|Blackbirds love the berries of Cotoneaster franchetii.|
|I think this is a Ruddy Darter, still around mid month.|
|Ruddy Darter (Sympetrum sanguineum).|
|Veggies still growing like crazy!|
|Cosmos flopped over hiding the messy looking courgette |
plants which are still producing!!
|More pics of flowers in the veggie patch.|
|Annuals on the left and perennial Bidens on the right, which flowers until harsh frost stops it.|
|Dill and Verbena bonariensis.|
|Shrubs and trees looking colourful.|
|Liquidambar styraciflua starting to turn.|
|Fallen leaves - the bright coloured ones are from wild Cherry.|
|Beautiful Forest Pansy.|
Cercis canadensis aka Eastern Redbud.
|Forest Pansy again.|
|Dahlias are still going strong.|
|A now rare sighting of a bumble bee!|
I'm fed up as not only am I in and out of a depressed lethargic state where I have little interest in gardening, cooking or really doing anything much at all, but on top of all this the neuropathy in my hands and feet/lower legs continues to get worse. I can now barely type so what you see here has had twice as long spent amending the gibberish that spouts from my barely feeling fingertips, even though I have resorted to looking at the keyboard now whilst typing (I'm a touch typist which means I don't have to look).
Everything I touch seems to put pressure on my fingers - eating food which requires cutting is difficult as cutlery feels extremely sharp, trying to crack walnuts is uncomfortable because the shells are sharp so I can only do a few at a time and many everyday things are becoming harder. Fiddly things are becoming impossible and K has to help me. Metal, glass and china even at room temperature feel very cold to the touch. Plus I keep dropping things and the last few days I've thrown both a drink and sugar all over the place, not to mention dropping my toast which of course fell jam side down!
Walking feels bizarre, like my shoes are made of concrete, but it's not eased when I put my feet up. I have patches on the soles of my feet which are completely numb now. My balance is affected so photography is more difficult as I can't stand very still and I have to keep looking to see where my fingers are on my camera as I just can't feel anything properly. I am living in fear that I will end up unable to do anything - and if I can't take photos then what will I do? Thankfully I can still operate my mouse without any problems and use my stylus for tapping out text on my kindle so can keep in touch via social media and blogs that way. It's just that this is such a new thing to deal with which is so extremely weird - I've been through pain, nausea, exhaustion etc and we all know what they feel like, and even temporarily losing my sense of smell and even taste during a cold, but semi losing the sense of touch is just bizarre, so that makes it harder to deal with, I think.
I've got to try to look on the bright side, which is hard, because I have a silly, possibly irrational, feeling that if I get all defeatist, then the cancer will come back. We did get out for walks the last two days to enjoy the autumn colours (more photos to come), and I went to the hairdressers Friday to finally get my hair highlighted again, so mousy brown is no longer looking back at me in the mirror! Feeling a little brighter in myself at the moment and our 23rd wedding anniversary is tomorrow, so we are going to the all you can eat Chinese buffet. At least I have a healthy appetite and I'm still putting on weight, though I shall want that to stop at some point!!! :-)