Notes from the chemo chair

It's been two weeks since I blogged, but I haven't been able to take photos until just recently, and I can't sit at all, so they'll be staying on the camera a while longer. My chemo port was implanted ten days ago which prevented me from taking photos because, whilst not really painful, I had a stiff arm and shoulder for a while. I felt quite groggy and a little sick coming round from the short anaesthetic for that. You'd think the effects would be less from a relatively short time under (I was told 25 minutes) but this was also the first time I felt myself getting drowsy from the anaesthetic and it took about four breaths worrying about not closing my eyes in case they thought I was under but I wasn't before I zonked out. Usually one just zonks out without noticing!

None of this was as bad as the fact that I was two hours late going down to theatre, due to an emergency, which meant that at the time I should have been leaving the hospital, I was still in the recovery room, and when my OH called to find out what was going on, there was nobody left manning the desk at the day hospital, as they'd all gone home! By the time the nurse called him to let him know when I could leave, he'd already got in the car and was en route to kick some ass to find out what the hell was going on, as not surprisingly he was worried sick. I left the hospital at 9pm feeling still quite weak. I'd been given a tray full of snack food which I couldn't face at that time so took it all home with me to eat later. I'm rather cross with the hospital staff for not warning my husband that my surgery was running late - and having no one answering the phone is crazy.

Worse was to come when my butt area wound started hurting and I noticed a place where it looked like there was a split in the just healed skin, which looked a bit pink. As I was going back to the hospital to see a chemo nurse I told her my problem and she arranged for me to see the stoma nurse after our appointment. I then spent an uncomfortable time sitting on my ring cushions wanting her to shut up so I could get my butt seen to! The chemo side all explained, I went to see my stoma nurse who took one look and proclaimed that I had an abscess! Oh joy! Luckily my surgeon was free so he came for a look and said it was unusual a month after surgery to get problems like that, as it was more usual in the two weeks after.

Well I got prodded and poked and squeezed - just what you want with an abscess in the place where the sun didn't use to shine! I came home with a huge box full of dressings and a prescription for yet more antibiotics. I now need a nurse coming round every day to change my dressings - they put wadding up inside the hole - it's not as painful as it sounds, but overall I'm in pain and have gone back on the stronger codeine/paracetamol and back to eating lying on my side again.... Oh memories of bum burn after the radiotherapy is coming back, though there is one good thing - this time I don't have to poo through the butt pain!!! I can't tell you how disappointed and frustrated I am at this set back in my healing though.

All this background to explain why I can't sit at my computer to download, organise and process photos at the moment. I'm even lying down on the back seat of the car to travel!

Back to the garden and my nature notes - I know I haven't been outside as much as I usually would have, but between the two of us looking and listening, this is the first year since we've been keeping records that we have not seen the return of the Swallows in March before, nor heard the first Blackcap song. I don't think it has anything to do with the weather as it's often quite cold and frosty at this time. It's been windy recently and I haven't seen any butterflies even in the sunshine. There are plenty of queen bumble bees around looking for nesting sites, even on cloudy days. But what steals the show now are the plants, which are coming on in leaps and bounds.

I realised I was missing a lot walking round the garden carefully watching my feet, so as not to trip over the fallen twigs that I'd normally have picked up for kindling, or cats racing around or entwining themselves around my ankles. I'm aware of all the ground level plants, particularly the mix that makes up the green pathways through the wild areas here, more other plants than grass in places. But sometimes I need to stop and look up to realise that yes, there IS green appearing on the hazel trees and the hawthorn leaves are already out. The peaches are in full blossom, looking beautiful and pink. Buds are everywhere. Life is bursting forth. Birds are singing and collecting nesting material. Winged insects are flying around. I should enjoy this and stop feeling frustrated that even with camera in hand, I can't bend, kneel or squat to get the low down shots that I want to do. But you, dear reader, don't need photos to know what I'm talking about, as those of you in the northern hemisphere are all experiencing exactly the same joys of burgeoning spring as I am.

As far as the veg patch goes, we have some lettuce already germinated in a cold frame that sits directly on the soil. I've got my exercise walking up and down on the dug over areas to firm down the soil (and am spotting coriander, magenta orache, opium poppies, flat leaf parsley and lord knows what else already germinating), my OH has spread organic fertiliser, and we are nearly ready to mark out where the spud rows will go, and the blocks of flower seeds to be sown. And joy of joys, the hollyhock which my poor hubby feels so bad about hoeing off a few months back, has started sprouting!

Later that day:
Well blow me down but what did I see this morning whilst having a shower but a couple of Swallows swooping over the veg patch! We are not overlooked so don't worry about curtains... I thought it was a good omen as today was my first chemo day. Thankfully I was given a bed in a two bed room, so was able to get comfy (excuse the title of this post, I have taken liberties as I thought chair sounded better than bed, as they have both here, and I didn't know what I was going to get until I arrived). My OH decided he'd stay with me for the supposed to be 2.5 hour session. However I had a long wait before they hooked me up to my drips. Lunch was served which I hadn't been expecting but was pleased about, especially given the delay. My OH had to spend a fortune in the cafeteria though. The delay was explained as being due to having to get the necessary drugs from the hospital pharmacy, which didn't make sense. But then I thought about it, and realised that the staff had probably gone off for their typical long lunch break! Ridiculous. So we didn't get home until 5.30, having left here at 11am.

It was a nuisance as my OH could have come home if we'd known, but he did at least get to the large nearby Lidl which has an instore bakery with some very yummy bread, so that was something. And it's only two days out of every fortnight. What I hadn't realised is that I bring home a pump thingy on day 1 as well as day 2, which continues to drip more drugs into me. On day 3 it, and the needle,  will be removed by a local nurse. So far so good with no effects whatsoever. Just hope I don't feel too bad over the weekend as our weather is due to get sunnier from Sunday, so should be a semi nice Easter. :-)

I tapped out all of the above on my Kindle yesterday, so rather than go through it all editing to make it say yesterday rather than today, I'll just say that I've had my second bout of chemo today and there were no delays, in and out in just over 1.5 hours! I went for a walk in the garden this afternoon with a stiff breeze, camera in hand, and my hands went all tingly! I've dug out my fingerless gloves for photography for until the weather warms up. Tingly fingers due to cold is a known side effect of the chemo drugs I'm on, and we are advised to keep gloves beside the fridge to put them on before touching anything cold. Had a bit of nausea last night and this morning. But not everything is bad, as my abscess is starting to recede and guess what, I'm sitting at my Mac on my ring cushions typing this! Not 100% comfortable, but I never really was anyway. Onwards and upwards. :-)