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Monday 12 January 2015

Peeking over the parapet to say hello

This is a quickie post with no photos just to let you know I am still in the land of the living. 

I have been to hell and back since Christmas with radiotherapy burns and spent two weeks in bed since Boxing Day. In fact I've spent most of my time since then in bed, because even when the pain finally subsided I've still felt unwell, rather like having flu and feeling really weak with no energy, just thankfully without the aches and shakes, and still getting bouts of nausea and lacking appetite. I guess there's a lot of crud to get out of my system from the strong chemo drugs and the battering my body has had from the radiotherapy. But I'm just beginning to have some good days at long last and I've managed to get outside a few times in the last week.

What I found the most interesting learning about radiotherapy burns for my particular kind of cancer and the same treatment ranged from a website that said to ignore the people who talk about excrutiatingly painful burns because that is just a myth spread by sensationalists!!! Even the radiotherapy tech told me as soon as my last session was over I'd start getting better straight away (wrong). The intern told me the burns would last about 3 weeks after the end of the treatment but wouldn't get any worse (wrong).  The truth is in various cancer sites' forum posts where I found many people had suffered the same as me. It gets worse before it starts getting better. And we are not talking about burns just in the anal region where the radiotherapy is targeted. We're talking about the whole area down there, from the top of my butt crack to my female parts and all. :-(

I ended up having to take the morphine I'd been prescribed which itself is a horrible drug making me feel like a complete zombie. I only took the slow release tablets even though I had some other fast release ones to take on top if needed, but I felt so drugged and weird I wasn't going to add to that. It did dull the pain a bit which made it bearable. Because I couldn't sit I have been eating lying down with my OH who has taken over the entire housework situation including cooking, cutting my food up into bite sized portions so I could eat my food with just a fork. 

This is the first day I have turned on my Mac and I'm finding I can sit here now reasonably comfortably so I wanted you to know how I'm doing.

I saw the surgeon last week and the date for my operation (which will be the full Monty with the bag an' all) is the 24th Feb. Apparently it's a 5 hour operation and he said I'd be in hospital about 12 days! If they cannot remove every trace of cancerous cells then I will have to have six months of chemo via drip, every fortnight for two days (no idea if that means staying in hospital overnight); I'll be asking him about that but there is no point worrying TOO much about this just yet..... although if that happens then that stuffs up our proposed plan to visit our relatives in England in the spring after I've got over my surgery! Hey ho. 

I've only been using my Kindle to access the internet so was able to chat to friends on facebook who have been helping me get through this awful time by bucking me up, telling me butt jokes and generally making a difficult time easier by the amazing support system I have there.

Fellow bloggers - I've looked through a few of your more recent blog posts but sometimes I have not the energy to comment. I hope you understand but now that I'm able to sit (even if somewhat gingerly) I will try to catch up eventually. 

Also hope to start taking some photos again soon! 

Take care. xx 

18 comments:

  1. Don't you worry at all about commenting! It sounds a horrendous experience and I really salute you for documenting it here. You are so right, real people's shared stories and experiences are more helpful than doctors who have not experienced the things they talk about directly themselves. Hopefully they gave you some comfort that you weren't experiencing anything out of the ordinary for this kind of treatment. I am so glad you are feeling a little better now and hope it will be onwards and upwards and that you won't need any further treatment after your op xx

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    1. Hi CT - It was horrible and it actually feels a bit weird to have no pain after months of it in one way or another! Just so nice to be able to sit again. Now I'm back at my desktop so I can type again to answer your comments. Thanks so much for your lovely words - and a package just arrived for which I say thank you humungously. I look forward to trying that balm on my dry cracked hands and the card is perfect! xxx xoxoxoxoxoxoxox :-)

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    2. So pleased it arrived, and it made quite good time too :o) xx

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    3. Sometimes the postal service (whether French or English), surprises me! :-) xx

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  2. Well you are going through the mill on this treatment, so glad you are feeling a little better and once your Opp is over you will have the sunshine to look forward to...Take care
    Amanda xx

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    1. Hi Amanda and thanks! I've been three days out of bed now and it feels so great. Not ready to run around just yet of course but just some fresh air and a chat with my chickens is good enough for the moment. ;-)

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  3. Sorry its not been good Mandy, but, glad to see you are a little better now, and once your op is finished in Feb, you can get back to gardening and taking photos in the Spring.

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    1. Hi Ian. Had a good look around the garden this morning wondering if I could find any photography subjects - well there are a few flowers and snowdrop buds already but I'm not quite yet ready to start taking photos of them, but hopefully soon. Cheers. :-)

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  4. Its good that you are keeping a positive attitude Mandy which has to be the way forward.
    Reading blogs is not at all important right now and you are in mine and I am sure, all your fellow Bloggers thoughts.
    So all the very best to you. In the words of Winston Churchill in that film "A Gathering Storm"
    K.B.O. "Keep Buggering On" although not literally of course.{:)) And not too much flatulence.{:))

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    1. Roy, I'm wondering what the flatulence situation will be like when I get my bag, will I ever be able to join in a farting contest ever again? ;-) Thanks so much my dear. :-)

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  5. Sorry you've been feeling so ill Mandy, hopefully the worst effects of the treatment will improve from now on. Love from both of us.
    Philippa xx

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    1. Hi Philippa and thanks so much. Feeling lots better even though not yet full of beans, but onwards and upwards. Take care and love to Alan too. xx

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  6. Onwards and upwards indeed Mandy, with your positive attitude and K's support I'm sure you will be in the best possible way health wise to have the operation in February. Hopefully it will go well and you will be enjoying a Lydford cream tea with us in the near future, don't forget the jam!

    Love Philippa and Alan. xx

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    1. Thanks again Philippa. K has been amazing and has taken to the housewifely duties, doing all the cooking, laundry and even running the vac around. He made a fab risotto last night, and I had 2nd helpings, followed by a slab of stollen. Got to get some meat back on my bones!
      DtB and Lady J are coming here on Friday, and have been comfort/invalid food shopping for me in England, so loads of beans, Heinz tom soup and Complan on the way. That should build me up! :-)

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    2. Excellent that K has been amazing Mandy, I'm not surprised though as he is such a brilliant guy.
      We are coming over to France next week via Roscoff so not much use to you if I'd offered to bring stuff. Really good that DtB and Lady J have got some stuff to bring to you on Friday, say hi to them from us.
      Take care both of you.

      Love Philippa xx

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    3. Have a great time in Brittany and I'll give your love to D and J. xx

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  7. So sorry you've been so poorly Mandy, but i am glad that you're feeling a bit better. Once the op's over, you can get back to your lovely garden. I'll be thinking of you.xx

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    1. Hi Deb and thanks so much. Getting a little better each day now. xx

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